September 6, 2005 · Posted in: Arroyo Impeachment, Political Humor
Elocution 101
MR. Speaker, I rise on a question of privilege, invoking my right to speak after 23 hours of listening to the members of this Honorable Chamber. Mr. Speaker, today there is blood on the floor of the House. For today, we have witnessed not just the execution of the impeachment complaint but also the massacre of the English tongue.
Mr. Speaker, not since the great Julius Caesar led his army out of Italy in 49 B.C. has the phrase “crossing the Rubicon” been used so often in so short a span of time. We have set a record, Mr. Speaker, not just for having the longest known single congressional session in the history of our beloved land, we have also set the record for the most frequent repetitions of “Dura lex, sed lex” in 24 hours.
It is perhaps for this reason, Mr. Speaker, that the Honorable Gentleman from Bacolod City was inspired to improvise on that great Latin maxim. Mr. Speaker, after undergoing deep reflection and contemplation, I believe that the Good Representative Monico Puentevella has uttered a phrase that will forever be imprinted in the hearts and minds of Filipinos: Dura lex, Pyrex.
I am proud to say, Mr. Speaker, that only Filipinos can appreciate the full significance and import, the sense and sensibility, or as the Honorable Gentlewoman from Masbate has so alliteratively put it, the “conspiracy and conundrum” of this profound phrase. I salute the Honorable Gentleman from Bacolod City for the honor he has bestowed on an ancient and hallowed tongue.
Be that as it may, Mr. Speaker, I would like to point out that Latin is not an official language of this August Chamber. And yet, Mr. Speaker, how often have the distinguished Ladies and Gentlemen of this Honorable House asked the question, “Quo vadis?” I will risk my honor, Mr. Speaker, and also the honor and riches of my children and grandchildren, and their children and grandchildren, by speaking the unspeakable, by uttering the unutterable truth.
Let us admit it, Mr. Speaker: despite the frequency with which “Quo vadis?” has been asked in this Chamber, no one has answered that question, either in Latin or in any other language known to the honorable men and women of this Hallowed House. It is for this reason, Mr. Speaker, that I posit, I aver, I assert, that after crossing the Rubicon, we are about to plunge into the abyss of uncertainty.
Honorable Speaker, I put the burden of the blame squarely on the shoulders of generations of English teachers and law professors. They have imprisoned us in the words of wise but dead men and women. They have kept us mired in archaic phrases. They have shackled our tongues and entombed our minds. I also blame Hollywood, Mr. Speaker, especially generations of gladiator movies that, no matter their age, the Gentlemen and Gentlewomen of this House have grown up with.
Despite this, Mr. Speaker, I am overjoyed by overwhelming evidence that the members of this August Body read books. Mr. Speaker, I should ask that the proper citations be made to the references in this Honorable Chamber to Humpty Dumpty and the Empress’ New Clothes. Otherwise, Mr. Speaker, we will only Dinkyfy and Gloriafy the grand rhetorical tradition of the August House.
I will end, Mr. Speaker, by clarifying that this humble representation is aware that what she has said is merely suppletory to all the grand words that have been spoken in this House today.
Finally, Mr. Speaker, let me say that the greatest and sweetest words I have heard in this Chamber, are those that you yourself have spoken so frequently and with such eloquence since early this morning. Those memorable words are: “Let me remind the Honorable Gentleman that his three minutes is up.”
You have shown us the power of words, Mr. Speaker. Vamos, vamos, vamos.
23 Responses to Elocution 101
camille
September 6th, 2005 at 4:04 pm
haha! listening to those honorable gentlemen was soooo amusing!
d3dma
September 6th, 2005 at 4:11 pm
what do you expect from intellectual wannabes?
enlightened_pinay
September 6th, 2005 at 4:14 pm
Too bad their pork barrel funds can not buy brains.
d3dma
September 6th, 2005 at 4:17 pm
enlightened_pinay,
true, but i’m pretty sure it’s more than enough for a lobotomy…
juanbagwis
September 6th, 2005 at 6:14 pm
… but pork barrel funds can buy them Expeditions…ask Mr. Waykurat
emer
September 6th, 2005 at 6:24 pm
si waykurat wala nang alam gawin yan kundi kenkoyin ang sarili nya nagmumukha tuloy syang may sayad. nakakabilid din sila dodot jaworski at si ace barbers na dati e asar na asar ako pero ngayon nakuha nya respeto ko. ganun din kay edmon reyes kahit taga majority sila me paninindigan. si peter cayetano bilib din ako dahil galing nya. si darleen, si suplico si cong.zamora , sa mga taga partylist na sumoporta sa impeachment.. kay paras din okey din sya kahit medyo pasaway at syempre kay cong chiz escudero at ompong plaza salamat sa inyong lahat. ganun din kay gilbert remulla, kay villanueva. mabuhay kayo
kulitus
September 6th, 2005 at 7:08 pm
naka expedition na ba si way kurat? baka naman kita yun sa mga tanim nyang kalamansi.
by the way… who were those who abstained… and those who were absent from the session?
ka erning
September 6th, 2005 at 7:23 pm
kay speaker de bola:
sana mapalipit na ang iyong dila. takot kang malaman ang katotohanan dahil isa ka sa pasimuno sa pandaraya at panlilinlang sa amin. malapit na ang paniningil sa iyong mga kasalanan sa lahing pilipino. walang utang na di pinagbabayaran.
fandong
September 6th, 2005 at 8:30 pm
iba talaga ang the greatest show on earth this side of the world!!!! pero kahit paano, may naaprecioate ako. yong eloquence saka sincerity ni rep. puentevilla, yong bicolano, hinde yong f na taga bacolod ba yon. sana lahat ng mga representatives natin, marunong magsalita para kahit nagsisinungaling, masarap pakingang pero huwag naman tulad nina pichay, villafuerte at lagman na parang mga demonyo. sana tularan nila si antonino.
sayang, talagang nawala na talaga ang respeto ko kay way kurat sa ginawa niya ngayon, pinalampas ko dati ang ginawa niya nong sona. pero ksp pala talaga ito. magakano ba ang ginagastos natin sa mga kumag na ito? alam niyo, kung gusto kong matawa, nanonood ako nang mga comedy sa sinihan, mas mura ito. sana isara na lang yang lower house na yan, baka malaki ang matitipid natin.
enuff
September 6th, 2005 at 10:35 pm
whatever happened to imee marcos? bilib na sana ako noong una… peke pala… tsk.. tsk.. tsk..
nnk
September 6th, 2005 at 10:47 pm
Pwede pa bang buhayin ang hello Garci sa Senate?
nnk
September 6th, 2005 at 10:51 pm
Bilib ako dun sa congressman na namatayan ng kapatid. yet still andun siya to make his stand against Arroyo.
E, si Imee…puro ingay, wala naman palang bala! Humahaba tuloy nguso nya. ah, baka kaka face lift lang kaya hinid makadalo sa impeachment?
but seriously, Arroyo got thru to the Marcoses, baka in a months time, ililibing na si Marcos sa Libingan ng Bayani…tapos si Erap, a free man na.
indio_lawless
September 7th, 2005 at 7:54 am
Hahahaha, galing mo Shiela.
Look at Monico’s picture in huddle in the front page of PDI today, he really got a semblance of a Pyrex : Dura Lex, Pyrex.
Hahahaha, more!more! more!
masha
September 7th, 2005 at 8:05 am
…or ka erdi manalo got to imee as well as the rest. the leadership of inc, el shaddai and the catholic church is a sham.
Quo vadis, Pinoy? | better than coffee
September 7th, 2005 at 8:43 am
[…] Shiela, you rock! MR. Speaker, I rise on a question of privilege, invoking my right to speak after 23 hours of listening to the members of this Honorable Chamber. Mr. Speaker, today there is blood on the floor of the House. For today, we have witnessed not just the execution of the impeachment complaint but also the massacre of the English tongue. […]
soledad t. tubay
September 7th, 2005 at 12:30 pm
I’ve been thinking, really, shouldn’t we seriously teach our students how to observe parliamentary procedure?
Isa pa, bakit di na lang kaya tagalugin kung ‘di naman kayang mag ingles ng tama?
kavenishi
September 7th, 2005 at 12:54 pm
masha said,
September 7, 2005 @ 8:05 am
…or ka erdi manalo got to imee as well as the rest. the leadership of inc, el shaddai and the catholic church is a sham.
**********************************************************************
can we just avoid using any religious or blaming any religious organization. this is political issue and not religious matters. pls. respect any religious affiliations and avoid using them in your comments.
noelet
September 7th, 2005 at 8:56 pm
see pagcor and the bishops? do politics and religion not related still?
tongue in, anew
September 8th, 2005 at 3:46 am
Kahit anong puyat ko, nagising ako kay Salaula..er, Jaraula pala. Pagkatapos magdadada in favor of the committee report, mayabang na sinabi, “Mr. Speaker, I vote no!” sabay upo.
After ten speakers or so, and probably a seatmate made him realize what he had just declared, got up back to the mic and announce his corrected “yes pala” vote.
Sa tao, what is right comes naturally out of the mouth. Even for these stupid bandits, in the back of their minds they know that “no” was the conscience vote.
soledad t. tubay
September 8th, 2005 at 11:25 am
I bet, kung nagsasalita sila sa pagtulog, ang boto nila ay NO. He, he, he,
emer
September 8th, 2005 at 6:18 pm
sa ginawa ni imee naturn off ako sa kanya.. sana di na lang sya sumama sa meeting ng mga tagaoposisiyon lumabas tuloy na isa syang taksil walang paninindigan!!!
datu_lakandiwa
September 12th, 2005 at 7:18 am
Yun pagpatay sa impeachment yan yun congress version ng “walang tulugan” ni German Moreno!!!!!
Ginawang entertainment ang kongreso ng mga hinayupak na makakapal ang mukha pumatay sa katotohanan!!!!
Humanda na lang kayo sa eleksyon, kahit pa dayain nyo matatalo pa rin kayo!!!!!!
purepinoy
October 28th, 2005 at 2:58 pm
i jas read the previous comments, i know this is off time but i might as well give my two cents’ worth opinion… with the way our religious leaders are doing… i dont see any reason why we should separate these supposed “spiritually enlightened” and “morally upright” sheperds from political issues and shield them from the country’s crises and the pinoy’s sufferings…. what ails this country aside from the having a fake president, are the influence peddlers and self-serving personalities. FG arroyo is the greediest amongst them… velarde and manalo are close second…. they are taking advantage of people’s miseries and hopelessness…. while the common pinoys are crying at their footsteps with empty stomach, waving old and dirty handkerchiefs, giving tithes.. .. these shenanigans are getting special treatments from insecure GMA: billion of pesos loans from PAG-Ibig, appointments in choiced government positions like the NBI, LRTA… damn! “How can they look at GOD when they are rich while their flock is poor?” I cant understand why we pinoys are so gullible if not stupid?